


Two Kinds of Endings

by howtotrainyournana



Series: Families are Stories [1]
Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Drowning, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I know how this looks but I swear it ends . . . happily. mostly., Suicidal Ideation, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, This deals with some very very bad brainthings and doesn't really gloss over them so be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-19 06:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11891673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtotrainyournana/pseuds/howtotrainyournana
Summary: It's the end of the summer, and David has some loose ends to tie up.





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently got dragged into the Camp Camp fandom by the lovely @happy-fazzbear-ponies2 on Tumblr and I regret nothing. Which means, of course, that I have new material for hurt/comfort fics. And apparently there wasn't enough David-centric feels for me in fic form on AO3, because of course the first thing I did was write a depression fic about the Nature Husband, with added Salt Child and Grumpy Girl. 
> 
> This fic is canon divergent in that it assumes the events of Season 1 Episode 12 “The Order of the Sparrow” never happened, at least in terms of the happy ending. All relationships are platonic/familial. Please read with discretion.

There comes a point where positivity is not enough. The inner fuel to look on the bright side of things runs out, and what’s left is … emptiness. Not an all-consuming darkness, or a roiling mass of bad feelings and worse thoughts, but just … . nothing. The zest for life is gone, and with it the desire to keep living.

So you don’t.

This was the point David reached an early morning in late August.

If he had to pinpoint a moment that pushed him over the edge, it would have to be at the campfire the previous night, when the campers were listlessly listening to his stories and songs and, when they shuffled off to bed, he was hit with the realization that in two short weeks he would be alone again. Utterly, completely alone.

He didn’t know it at the moment, but this was when he began to fall.

Gwen had taken ill earlier in the day (probably due to the expired batch of spaghetti that they had been serving for lunch the past week) and had left David to herd the campers around activities for the afternoon. It had gone about as well as could be expected – which was terribly. Max hadn’t ceased his snide remarks on David’s ineptitude (totally normal), Nikki had somehow managed to incite a stampede of elk through the camp (not unusual), and Neil had finally snapped during Marine Biology Camp and decided to lead “an actual fucking scientific investigation of this damned lake” which resulted in the campers and David having to battle a full-fledged lake monster that they disturbed (not totally unheard of). So that was a thing.

Dinner had been a disaster, with the Quartermaster having thrown out all of the (now completely rancid) spaghetti and opted instead for old military rations that were, albeit nutritious, completely and utterly tasteless. Max had had a lot to say about that.

All told, it was a tiring, trying day and David really, really, really needed a rousing round of camp songs and positivity at the end of the day. Which he didn’t get. When the campers were safely showered and in their tents asleep, David went to the kitchen instead of going to bed. There was the beginning of a cold empty knot settled in his chest that no amount of positive thinking and humming was alleviating, so he decided that if he couldn’t help himself feel better he would at least help his campers.

It took nearly an hour and a bit of doing, but David managed to find an unexpired package of pancake batter and a whole, untainted gallon of maple syrup tucked in a secret upper attic that looked suspiciously like a hideout from government officials. No matter. The kids would love the sweet syrupy goodness to brighten up their morning and start off their day on the right foot!

Whistling cheerily (and still stubbornly ignoring the fact that the cold knot had only gotten colder and tighter in his chest as he puttered around the empty camp) David set the pancake mix and the syrup on the counter and locked up for the night. He made his way back to his cabin, taking no notice of the three dark shapes sneaking to the door of the kitchen behind him.

Gwen had gone in to the hospital earlier, the stomach pains and fever having gotten worse, so David was left alone in the counselor’s cabin. The cold knot got bigger as he walked into the dark, quiet cabin and locked the door behind himself.

Hit with a sudden wave of exhaustion, David toed off his shoes and flopped onto the bed fully clothed. He buried his face in his pillow opting, for once, to let the tension of the day simply stew away inside his brain without inhibition. Probably not the best idea, but at this point the small knot of cold inside his chest (which he had a sneaking suspicion was loneliness mixed with something he didn’t want to name) was like a snowball where his heart should be and he really didn’t have the motivation to do anything about it.

This should have been a warning sign.

He didn’t heed it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

David woke to sunlight streaming through his window onto his face, a tingling emptiness in his limbs and chest, and the sound of utter chaos from outside. He had forgotten to set his alarm in his stupor the previous night. David groaned once, deeply, before pushing himself up and over to his shoes. Slipping them back on, he took a fortifying breath and opened the door.

He had to resist the urge to shut it again.

Someone, it seemed, had seen fit to use the pancake batter and syrup he had found for a prank. Campers were running around covered head to toe in sticky syrup and white powder. Ered and Preston were banging on the doors into the bathroom and showers which were, apparently, locked from the inside. Nikki had added mud to her sticky ensemble and was currently chasing Nerris and Neil around and trying to hug them. Space Kid had somehow managed to find a yellow jacket’s nest and was running, screaming at the top of his lungs, away from the bees that were stuck to the syrup coating him. David hoped to God that he wasn’t allergic. With his luck, he probably was. Nurf was trying to toss Harrison in the line of the bees. Harrison was shooting cards out of his hands to keep them at bay.

Max, to no one’s surprise, was grinning maliciously at the entire scene, devoid of pancake batter.

“Morning, Davey. Sleep well?” Max asked from where he was leaning next to David’s door.

The cold knot from the night before had gone away, and it its place was a numb, tingling sensation that was spread throughout his body. Max frowned as David walked away without even so much as a “Language, Max.”

Without cracking a smile, David snagged Space Kid and tossed him in the lake to wash the bees off. Nurf let out a huff and dropped Harrison, grumbling as he wandered into the lake as well. A swift kick to the bathroom doors broke the lock and let Ered and Preston in. They immediately turned the showers on full to rinse off. Nerris and Neil booked it in after them to escape Nikki, who wouldn’t go past the bathroom doors, opting instead to howl forlornly at her friends through the steam. David ignored the glare and muttered curses from Max and made his way to the mess hall to scrounge up something for the kids for breakfast.

It looked like it would be military rations again.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the week continued in much the same way. It took Gwen a full three days to get back from the hospital, and at many points over those days the Quartermaster disappeared to wherever the Quartermaster disappeared to, leaving David to corral the campers all by himself. Without a second pair of eyes and hands, it was utter chaos. And the numb apathy that had settled over David was not helping things _at all_.

On day two, Nurf managed to get a hold on one of his knives and David had to give Nerris and Preston multiple stitches each. That evening, Space Kid tried launching himself into space from the mess hall roof while David wasn’t watching and ended up with a twisted ankle. Max and Nikki turned beekeeping camp into an utter disaster, and Neil and Harrison turned physics camp into a war between science and magic. Max was worse than ever, taking advantage of David being overworked to badger him constantly about his ineptitude. By the time Gwen got back the morning of the fourth day, David was beyond exhausted and half of the camp was either covered in honey or broken boards or was slightly burned. Gwen was filled with irritation. David just felt empty.

“What the hell, David? I leave you alone for three days for a _legitimate reason_ and the whole place is in shambles? Where’s the Quartermaster? What have you been _doing_?”

David had no reply to that. The numbness had settled deeply in him over the past days alone. He simply shrugged, handing Gwen the schedule he’d had planned for the day. She snatched it out of his hands; after a glance at it, she groaned loudly and stalked away to prep, muttering darkly under her breath.

The afternoon went almost impossibly smoothly with Gwen fully back in action. The kids were overjoyed to not have to deal with David’s chipper enthusiasm, it seemed ( _he was trying so, so hard though_ ), and were on their best behavior. Even the Quartermaster had returned and was helping out. Everything fit together perfectly; nothing like when it had just been David to take care of things.

David felt himself shatter just a little bit more.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

It was three more days before David finally broke.

Things had gone to even better than normal with Gwen back – the time away from camp ( _away from David_ , his brain supplied) had been good for her and she seemed revitalized. The kids latched on to it and took to antagonizing her instead – even Max was outright ignoring David in favor of getting a rise out of Gwen. No one seemed to notice David growing quieter, less cheerful, less … himself. The numb apathy was getting harder and harder to put up a front for.

So he didn’t.

And nothing changed.

So a week before camp was over, on a Friday morning, David began prepping.

He got up early (earlier than usual; he was always awake before everyone else) and cleaned his room until it was perfect. He pulled an empty box out from under his bed and carefully collected all the knickknacks and pictures and sentimental items scattered about his room into it. No reason to make things harder on everyone else. He pulled out a pen, paper, and envelope but hesitated, then tucked it under his pillow. He would save the letter for later.

David wouldn’t be able to face everyone after he said goodbye, and he had a last day to make perfect.

And he did.

The chipper, carefree, lively David was back. He threw himself into the camp activities with a gusto he hadn’t shown for over a week now. He sang, and laughed, and he even broke his professional attitude to help Nikki prank Max and Neil with water balloons (Max responded by stealing his bandana, but David let him keep it; he wouldn’t need it soon). Gwen even relented and let him pull out his guitar to sing campfire songs after dinner; he took requests from the kids and surprisingly everyone was rather into it (well, into critiquing David’s singing and guitar skills, but at least they weren’t apathetic about the whole thing!).

All told, it was a rather perfect last day.

Then it came time to say goodbye.

David’s hands started shaking the moment he put the guitar down after the last song. They kept shaking as he walked the kids to the bathrooms so they could get ready for bed. He was able to get the trembling under control before they got done – he had to do this right.

Nikki was the first one out of the bathroom as usual. She dashed outside and howled at the moon, running circles around David and Gwen while she waited for Max and Neil to get done. David let a smile break across his face – _he_ would break instead if he didn’t – and reached out to pat her head as she ran past.

“Good night, Nikki.”

The blue-haired girl shrieked at the contact and laughed, running off towards the flagpole to run laps around it instead.

Space Kid and Nerris were the next two out.

He patted each of them on the head as well and wished them goodnight, Nerris complaining that he was going to mess up her elf ears but giving him a grin nonetheless. Space Kid surprised David by giving him a quick hug around the knees. David almost broke then.

Almost.

Harrison and Preston were next out, followed quickly by Dolph and Ered. Quarters fell out of Harrison’s hair when David mussed it; he laughed and flicked them up for David to catch. Preston launched into a monologue about the pleasant wishes goodnight being a masked goodbye (David would have been worried Preston knew something if the kid wasn’t literally there for Drama Camp). Dolph gave him a hug too, and a cheery “gute nacht” along with it. Ered just fluffed her hair and gave a breezy “good night” before drifting away.

Nurf and, surprisingly, Neil were next out, somehow having got into a discussion about one of the songs David had played. As unusual as a positive interaction between the two was, the numbness in David thawed just a little at the sight. Neil rolled his eyes at David’s cheery affection and gave a half-hearted wave; Nurf surprised him with a handshake goodnight and good wishes for slumber. It was a night of firsts and lasts indeed.

Then there was only Max.

The cold knot in David’s chest returned at the sight of his favorite camper. _This is it, camp-man. Last time he has to put up with you. Make it count._ David stood still as Max walked past him, bright green eyes not sparing him a glance – Max was either too tired or too irritated to even taunt David. As Max got further and further away, David felt a little like he was collapsing in on himself. Just as Max got to the door of his tent, David started forward and called out to him.

“Max! Wait!”

The curly haired boy turned around, expression of absolute disgust on his features. David’s fake smile faltered for just a split second before he plastered it back on. He jogged up to the boy and squatted down in front of him.

“What the fuck do you want, David? If you haven’t noticed, I’m trying to go to sleep and enter the sweet oblivion of nighttime to escape the hellhole that is this camp,” Max said, crossing his arms with a smug look on his face. The smug look was replaced with confusion as David wrapped him up in a quick, tight hug.

“What the fuck man!?” Max yelled, pushing him away.

“Good night, Max,” David said, then he stood up and walked away without looking back, leaving a very puzzled Max staring after him. A few moments later, Max wandered back into his tent mumbling about “fucking weird-ass counselors not knowing personal space preferences.”

Gwen was already back in her room in the counselor’s cabin. David could hear the sounds of trash t.v. playing lightly from her room. Still playing the part, David went through his usual routine – change into pine tree patterned pajamas, brush his teeth in their shared bathroom, knock on Gwen’s door to say goodnight. David cautiously opened her door and poked his head in – it was out-of-the-norm behavior, but he wanted to give her a proper goodbye.

Gwen glanced up from her tablet for a second or two to meet his eyes, then flicked them back down to her show with a grunt of acknowledgement. David took that as permission to enter her room. Before he could lose his nerve, he walked over to her, bent down, and gave her a quick hug.

“Good night, Gwen,” he said, giving her a tight squeeze.

“What the hell, David?” she squawked, but as soon as the hug started it was over and he was walking back out of her room. She stared at the closed door for a few seconds. That had been … odd. But probably a good thing, right? More like normal David and less like … empty David from the past week. Yeah. It was a good thing.

Gwen went back to her show, worries melting away in the convoluted plot of trash t.v., and in the room next to her David sat down to finish a letter.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Even to the end, David didn’t want the kids to be sad or to be hurt because of him. He wasn’t worth it. So what better way than to disappear completely? They would be traumatized and scared of the forest if he got himself killed by a wild animal or threw himself off a cliff, and he couldn’t bear the thought of them finding him hanging in the mess hall or his cabin or the woods, or bled out in the showers or the kitchen. No, he had thought about this thoroughly. Resigning himself to the bottom of the lake to be eaten by fish and parasites was where he belonged.

When the kids and Gwen were well and truly asleep (even the Devil Trio) David made his way out to the dock and to the rowboat there waiting for him. It was nothing unusual for David to prep camp activities days in advance, so no one had questioned when he had brought out the rowboat while prepping for the afternoon session and never used it.

It would serve a different purpose.

David hadn’t bothered to put on shoes or socks again after getting into his pajamas earlier (necessary, since Gwen would question him not getting ready for bed like normal and he desperately, desperately wanted everything to seem like it was normal).

So numb feet found their way into the rough bottom of the boat, and numb hands threw off the rope on the dock. Numb arms pulled back and forth on the single oar, numb eyes guiding the vessel out to the middle of the lake. It was deep here, fathoms and fathoms down, and the water was cold even in the middle of the summer and murky.

David took a deep breath.

And threw the oar as far from himself as possible.

It landed with a splash somewhere in the vicinity of Spooky Island. David simply sat in the boat for a full hour, mind empty, staring back at the faint outline of Camp Campbell in the moonlight. At some point he laid down in the boat, lanky limbs sprawled along the floor as he curled up. He knew how the next part went, but somehow he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. He had even made it as easy for himself as possible – all he had to do was pull the plug from the floor of the rowboat and let the water do the rest. The innocuous orange stopper sat right by his head and hands, a constant reminder. _Tick tock, camp man. Decision time has already passed. You said goodbye. Time to make good._

Several hours later, as the sun started to rise, David still lay shivering in the bottom of the boat.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Gwen was beyond peeved when she pounded on David’s door in the morning and he didn’t answer. The cheerful counselor was always the first up, and – though she would never admit it – she relied on his timeliness as her alarm clock. Why wake up earlier than necessary ( _or to anything other than a friendly smile, but like hell she would let anyone know that_ ) when the walking ball of sunshine was completely willing to be her alarm clock? Which backfired when, apparently, he slept through his own alarm and left her up a half hour later than all the campers and with no breakfast or activities prepped. David was so getting an earful for this.

“David! Open this fucking door! We were supposed to be awake an _hour_ ago and I’m not dealing with this mess by myself!” she hollered.

When Gwen tried the door handle and it swung open to reveal an empty room, the anger subsided a bit into something uncomfortably like worry. That was … unusual. She had expected to see David snoring in his bed, so exhausted by some stupid nighttime bonding adventure he snuck off to do, or by some prank of Max’s, that he had slept through his alarm.

Instead, she was met with a neatly made bed that looked like it hadn’t been slept in, a box of pictures and knickknacks on the desk, and a letter addressed to her resting on David’s pillow. In fact, everything about the room was unnaturally pristine, like the owner had wanted it to be at its most presentable. Clothes hung neatly in the closet and were tucked away in drawers. No dust settled on any surface; even the desk chair was tucked in. The uncomfortable feeling of worry building in Gwen’s chest was full-blown anxiety now. Scenes from yesterday played through her mind on fast forward – David suddenly cheerful again, David breaking counselor conduct to have fun, David leaving his bandana with Max, David saying good night ~~goodbye~~. Warning bells were ringing in her head, but she couldn’t tell why (but in hindsight, she knew exactly what it all meant, she just couldn’t believe it of David). 

Gwen felt mildly numb as she walked over to David’s bed and picked up the letter. She didn’t know when her hands had started shaking. It wasn’t sealed shut, the lip of the envelope tucked neatly inside it. Gwen drew out a single piece of paper with David’s neat scrawl lined across it. Her breathing sped up the further she got down it; by the end of the letter she was nearly hyperventilating, and she lost no time in bolting out of the cabin and yelling at the top of her lungs for Max and the Quartermaster.

_Dear Gwen,_

_I want to say thank you for everything. Thank you for putting up with my stupid, idealistic nature. Thank you for putting up with my naïve positivity and love for this ridiculous camp. You have been nothing but reliable to me and a dear, dear friend, and I – I’ve been nothing but a burden to you. To everyone. No one really wants to be here except for me, and after this summer I don’t think I even want to be here either. Which is a big thing, considering this camp is my life. I just can’t do all this anymore. I know that now. I’m sorry to do this to you right now, but we’re less than a week away from the end of camp and … and I’m too much of a coward to go when I’m all alone again. I’m sorry. I know this is the worst thing for me to do, and I understand completely if you hate me for doing this. Tell the campers that they should always strive to be the best selves that they can be, to keep trying. To never give up. I want you to tell them that and say it’s from you, because that would be pretty damn hypocritical of me to say, wouldn’t it? … You don’t have to explain what happened to me. Just tell them I left early for a family emergency or something. They won’t care once they head home. You won’t find me, I’ll make sure of it. I couldn’t do that to them, to you. I wish I could have been better, been stronger, been … enough. But I’m not. Thank you, Gwen, for everything._

_Love,_

_David_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

Camp Campbell was in an uproar the whole day.

Gwen had come barreling into the mess hall in the midst of chaos led by Max and the rest of the Devil Trio. Max had opened his mouth to taunt the counselor but was interrupted by Gwen grabbing him by the shoulders.

“Has anyone seen David!? When was the last time anyone saw him?” she asked, shaking him. David’s yellow bandana was tied around Max’s shoulders and Gwen nearly burst into tears at the sight of it.

“Whoa whoa whoa, calm the fuck down. He steal your fanfic or something, Gwen?” Max smirked at her.

“No you fucking idiot, he left a suicide note on his pillow and I think he’s trying to kill himself,” she hissed, voice absolutely poisonous. The entire room went silent. 

Then Max laughed.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me. _That_ ball of sunshine? Why would he-“ and he was cut off as Gwen shoved David’s letter in his face. He huffed before snagging it and scanning down the neat letters. Max’s eyes grew wider and wider as he read. “Holy shit,” he breathed at the end. He looked up and met Gwen’s eyes. She simply nodded, face grim. Max straightened up, and the room snapped to attention.

“Okay, listen up you ignorant fucks! David either killed himself in the last few hours or is going to try to soon. He might be an insufferable, naïve ball of sunshine, but he’s _our_ insufferable naïve ball of sunshine. So now it’s _our_ job to take care of _him_. Track him down and bring him back!” A shout went up through the campers and the Quartermaster and everyone scattered to search. 

Everyone except Max and Gwen. 

Max gripped the note tightly in his hands, eyes still fixed on the last few lines, reading them over and over and over again like they held some secret clue. Max jumped as a hand settled on his shoulder. He looked up at Gwen, the briefest bit of fear and grief in his eyes. She tugged him into a quick hug before murmuring into his hair. “We’ll find him, Max. We’ll find him.”

He didn’t find that phrasing particularly reassuring.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

It was noon before someone remembered David taking the rowboat out to the dock the previous day, and it took another half hour before they had found sufficiently safe canoes and rowboats to go out on the lake. No one said the obvious the whole time – if David had drowned himself in the lake, there was very little chance that they would ever find a body. The lake was unnaturally deep and extremely murky and cold. They could be looking at a whole week of fruitless searching before being forced to give up.

Max, Nikki, and Neil sat in a rowboat with Gwen, while the rest of the campers were scattered in canoes across the rest of the lake. They had been told to shout for help if they found anything. Lake Lilac was not a small lake; after an hour of searching they were growing disheartened.

Until Max spotted a familiar rowboat drifting near a log in the center of a deep inlet at the back of the lake. 

Theirs was the only boat in the area, so Nikki sent up a shout across the lake and Neil sent up a flare. Max and Gwen wasted no time in rowing towards the boat, everyone in the boat shouting out for David. The closer they drew to the boat the more their hopes dropped – there didn’t seem to be anyone in it. And if there was no one in it, then that meant that David had already . . .

_Wait, movement!_

A tuft of red hair followed by a pale face peeked over the side of the boat. They were still too far away from him to make out any detailed expression, but the familiar face was soon gone. And with its disappearance the four in the rowboat came to an unnerving realization – there was significantly less of the rowboat that they could see than seconds before.

It was sinking.

And taking David with it.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

It was afternoon before David drew up the courage to do it.

Laying in the cold bottom of a rowboat all night had left him shivering and miserable. He told himself it was because he wanted to watch his last sunrise; after that he would pull the plug. The sun came up, and the rowboat stayed above the water. The sun crept higher and higher in the sky, parching David with its heat and light and leaving him dizzy but still he didn’t move. David stayed curled up on the floor of the rowboat until a jolt shook the boat – he had drifted far out of the center of the lake and into a deep inlet. His progress had been stopped by a sturdy tree trunk sticking out of the water. David looked around but couldn’t see Camp Campbell from where he was. Everything had gone a bit fuzzy for him and sound was distorted – it looked like there were other boats on the lake, but why would that be? No one would be looking for him. They wouldn’t know where to look anyway.

He slid back down to the bottom of the boat (sitting up had made his head spin) and, before he could talk himself out of it again, pulled the plug. Cold water bubbled up in the bottom of the boat. David laid his head back down on the rough boards as the water rose. He could feel the boat shifting around him as it took on water, could hear – _yelling? Someone yelling his name?_ – over the rushing, and then the boat was tipping over and he was plunging into the lake. He caught a glimpse of a boat a few meters away, and met a pair of panicked bright green eyes for a moment. He was so surprised to see Max that he took a deep breath to shout out to him – but inhaled a lungful of water instead of air.

Then he was underwater and sinking.

Drowning was a lot like the cold knot in his chest. It was painful, and it burned, and it felt like that was all there was in the world. The light dimmed around David as he sank, limbs too tired and dehydrated to move properly, and mind too heavy with despair to keep him afloat. So he struggled feebly, futilely, and sank.

The last thought he had before he passed out was that maybe, just maybe, this meant he wouldn’t feel so empty anymore.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

When David’s boat sank under the surface and into the lake, there was a split second before he slipped under the water that his eyes and Max’s eyes met. And Max knew, in that moment, what exactly David had meant in his letter. He saw resignation, and emptiness, and defeat, and, worst of all – hope. David wasn’t coming back up out of that lake. At least, not by himself.

Max didn’t spare a second thought as he yelled out “FUCK YOU DAVID, YOU DON’T GET TO LEAVE ME TOO!” while tying a rope around himself. They were nearly on top of where David had sunk now. Nikki and Neil knew what he was thinking a split second before Gwen did. She only got out a “Max, wait!” before he was diving in after his stupid, fucked-up, idiotic, naïve, wonderful, broken … friend.

The lake was freezing, and got dark almost immediately as Max dove down, down, down. He hoped against hope that he’d be able to find – _there he was!_ A hazy patch of red with pale underneath turned into David’s lax face as Max caught up with the slowly sinking ~~body~~ counselor. He wrapped his arms and legs around David in a bear hug and gave the rope attached to himself a quick tug. Almost instantly, the rope pulled taut and the two of them were floating upwards through the water. But it was slow going. Max’s head was starting to hurt from the lack of air. He must have been under for at least a minute and a half by now – David, well over three. Max pressed his ear against David’s chest, trying to hear a heartbeat over the pounding in his own head.

He couldn’t hear anything.

Then they were breaking the surface of the water and hands were pulling them both into the boats that had joined them and paddling to shore. Hands pulled him off of David and into another boat. A small part of Max knew it was because David was drowned and needed CPR, but a much larger part was screaming to _fucking give him back to me, what are you doing, I have to save him._ Which, in truth, he was screaming out loud. Not even a minute later the canoes and rowboat were beached, and Gwen was pressing her mouth to David’s and pumping his chest to get his heart moving. Max scrambled over to David’s side, ignoring the lake water streaming down his face from his eyes. David was unmoving and so, so pale.

So Max did the only thing he knew how to do well.

“WHO’S GONNA BE OBNOXIOUSLY POSITIVE ALL THE TIME?” he screamed. “WHO’S GOING TO FORCE A LAUGH WHEN EVERYTHING’S GONE TO SHIT, AND SOMEHOW GET EVERYTHING TO WORK OUT RIGHT?”

Gwen didn’t break her rhythm as Max yelled. The other campers quietly gathered around, unwilling and perhaps too fearful to break in on the moment.

“WHO’S GONNA CARE ABOUT ALL OF US CAMPERS EVEN THOUGH WE ONLY MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL? HUH DAVID? WHO’S GONNA BE THE GOD-AWFUL BALL OF SUNSHINE THAT THE WORLD NEEDS?” Max was outright sobbing now. At some point he had grabbed the cold hand lying on the sand in front of him and was squeezing it tightly between his own small hands. It was so, so cold and so, so still.

“FUCKING HELL, DAVID, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! DON’T … _sob_ … don’t die. Please,” Max ended in a whisper. Gwen didn’t stop her resuscitation. She had an iron determination in her usually careless face that Max understood implicitly. No way in hell was she giving up on David, not after he had given up on himself.

“David, David, you gotta come back to us. You idiotic camp man, you can’t just leave us to our own devices. You remember what happened the last time you left Nikki unsupervised? Or Nerris? You think Gwen can keep this camp together? Give me a break!” Max let out a near-hysterical laugh. Someone else let out a half-laugh, half-sob. Another breath from Gwen. David still showed no signs of life.

“David, _please_. Please don’t … don’t leave us. Don’t leave me. We need you, you naïve piece of shit. We … we’ll miss you too damn much if you go.” Max trailed off, a cold weight settling heavier and heavier in his chest and in his gut. The cold hand in his still hadn’t moved. It had been a solid two minutes since they had gotten to shore, and David hadn’t taken a single breath or twitched a muscle in that time. A broken sob, deeper and more painful than any before, worked its way out of Max.

David was gone.


	2. Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for not updating this fast enough please don't hate me.

The world was hazy around David. He couldn’t tell where he was, only that he was laying on something soft and he was warm and numb. Not the empty numb of . . _before_ . . but a warm numb. He blinked open his eyes and tried to get his bearings. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the soft white light around him, but when they did he was mildly surprised by what he saw.

He was laying in a hospital bed, an I.V. in the crook of his elbow and a hand holding each of his. A PAP mask was fitted over his face, and the gentle hum of the machine and soft whoosh in and out of air with each breath filled the room. Max’s fluffy head was curled up next to his left hand, and Gwen was asleep in a chair to his right, her hand lightly gripping his. Trying not to wake them, he tilted his head slowly to look around the room. Brightly colored and nature-themed cards decorated every surface in the small room. A pile of rocks and pinecones (most definitely from Nikki) sat in a corner with a DO NOT REMOVE sign scribbled above them on the wall, and someone had even taken it upon themselves to replace one of the window curtains with the Camp Campbell flag. David let out a chuckle at that; it quickly devolved into a cough as his lungs burned. He involuntarily pulled his hands out of Max’s and Gwen’s and up to the mask on his face as the coughing fit got worse.

Which, of course, startled them both awake.

Gwen sat bolt upright, dazed, and fixed David with a slowly focusing glare. Max gave a yelp and rolled off the bed, swearing profusely as he stood up rubbing his head. He froze at the coughing coming from David, bright green eyes fixing on to the counselor for a moment. David kept coughing, trying to stop long enough to answer the obvious questions, to take in the yelling that was going to be coming, _which he obviously deserved, doing something so selfish, so stupid, couldn’t even do THAT right, why was he even still_ – and then Max was hugging him, arms curled tight around his chest, and then Gwen was hugging them both, and someone was crying, and he was still coughing, and oh, the someone crying was him.

Huh.

Well.

_So much for numb_.

David sobbed for a while in their arms, Gwen stroking his hair and Max mumbling curses into his shirt. The numbness had gone and the cold knot in his chest was back, but with every passing moment it was melting more and more. When the tears finally stopped, it was gone.

A nurse checked in on them and looked over David’s vitals before deeming him in stable enough condition to be left alone for a few minutes with Max and Gwen. She told them the doctor would be in within the hour, and to page her if anything changed. As the door closed behind her, the trio lapsed into a weighted silence.

Surprisingly, Gwen was the first one to break the silence. She leaned forward in her chair and fixed David with a stare and a frown.

“David, I want you to listen to me. Don’t interrupt me, don’t say anything. Just listen.” David, who had been about to ramble out apologies again, snapped his mouth shut. Gwen reached forward and took his hand.

“You are a naïve, gullible, insufferable ball of sunshine who works way too hard for things that are just going to fall through for people who don’t care. And that’s a great thing about you. You care when no one else does, and that is _fucking fantastic._ You run this camp practically by yourself and you own it. But this?” she gestured around. “ _This_ you don’t have to do by yourself, David. No one expects you to be happy and chipper and cheerful and strong all the time. Pretending things are fine when they’re really not doesn’t fix anything. You can be lonely and in pain! You can have issues! But that’s what friends are _for_ , David. To help you when you’re down. To help you to be happy. And I’m sorry that we screwed that up. You shouldn’t feel like you’re all alone because you’re _not._ You’re _not,_ David, we’re here, and we’re never letting you do this again because this fucking _sucks_ , _got it_?” Gwen swiped angrily at the tears in her eyes, hand still gripping David’s tightly. “Dammit, now is not the time for me to be crying!”

David pulled gently on her hand, tugging her close enough to toss an arm around her shoulders and pull her close. Gwen tucked her head against David’s ( _warm alive breathing living_ ) gently rising and falling chest, one arm looped over him and the other still tightly gripped in his. The steady thump of the heart under her ear brought great comfort, though tears still dripped down onto the hospital gown David was wearing.

Max cleared his throat.

“David . . .” he started. Gwen didn’t move. David just turned his head slightly to the boy, tired green eyes meeting scrunched-up bright green ones. Max’s whole face looked taut – from anger or frustration or sadness David couldn’t tell – and his brow was furrowed deeply.

David simply waited.

Max’s lips pinched together and a tremble ran through them. “David, you are the biggest fucking moron I have ever had the displeasure to meet. You are also the first adult in my life to ever give a damn about me and I was so _fucking_ scared to lose you when I thought you were dead and don’t you ever do that again you bastard that was the worst and you’re the worst and I fucking hate camp and I don’t want to go home and don’t you ever try to leave me like that again and . .” Max continued to ramble. A few words into his rant tears had started dripping down his face. His expression didn’t change, but his nose started running and tears kept falling and he swiped at them with his sweatshirt sleeve. When David reached out a hand and carded it through Max’s hair the boy burst fully into tears and flung himself onto the bed with David, snuggling next to Gwen. She reached her arm around him and held him tightly as he sobbed.

It was the second time that summer she had seen him cry.

It took a long time for Max to quiet. The hum of the breathing machine and the occasional blip from the monitors was all that interrupted the now much less heavy quiet. Gwen had scooted her chair closer and still rested her head on David’s chest, one hand rubbing soothing circles on Max’s back. David kept carding his fingers through the boy’s hair, eyes fixed on the ceiling. After a while, he spoke.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. The other two stirred in protest, but he hushed them with a squeeze to Gwen’s hand and a pat to Max’s head. “No, really, listen. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you suffer because of what I did. I . . . honestly didn’t think you guys would care that much, when it all was said and done. I thought it would maybe hurt you a bit, but you would move on with your lives and realize what an inconvenience I actually was. I . . . I was so _goddamn stupid_ I didn’t even realize what I was throwing away.” The tears were back again, but David refused to let go of his grip on the two people grounding him to wipe them away. They ran down his cheeks and throat and around the mask pumping air into his lungs to soak into his pillow. “I just got so numb to it all, I felt so useless, so unneeded, so . . . unwanted that I just figured it was better for everyone to get rid of myself. And I see now that I was wrong, but I just got to a point where I didn’t feel anything at all and I didn’t care anymore and no one noticed and I couldn’t get the idea out of my head and it just made sense and I am so, so sorry I . . . I’m so- _hic_ -orry . . _sob_ I’m sor . . sorry I’m sorry . .” David trailed off into hiccupping apologies and squeezed his eyes shut. Max wrapped his arms more tightly around David. Gwen scooted up out of her chair and crawled in bed next to David, wrapping her arms tightly around his torso and around Max.

It would take time and work to make everything right and to heal, but as the unlikely family held each other close in a tiny hospital room in a boring rural town an understanding was reached: it doesn’t matter that it takes effort to make amends and rebuild bridges and put lives back together. It matters that you’re there to do it in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey so look who's not dead! Ha ha ha ha (that was terrible. really terrible. I'm terrible). Anyway.
> 
> Max is an unreliable narrator (hence the ending of the previous chapter) and I don't have the heart to actually kill the Nature Dad (especially by drowning or suicide). So, we have this. I am also very, very weak for positive family interactions and cuddle piles and happy endings being earned. You may have to go through hell to get to the happy ending, but they're not only possible - they do happen.
> 
> On a semi-related note, I have fallen very very hard into the Dadvid and MomGwen part of this fandom (season 2 ending anybody? Ha ha I was literally making dying animal noises while curled up on the couch through the whole thing) and thus, this is now going to be the first part in a series of Camp Camp fics set in this AU. Because apparently I have no self control when it comes to characters I love, but what else is new? Anyway, cheers loves! Stay well! See you next fic!
> 
> -Nana Graye

**Author's Note:**

> There will be a second part. That is where the comfort and fluff is. Please come cry to me about Camp Camp either in the comments or on the Tumblr, it gives me life. Also, I'm probably going to hell for this.


End file.
